On the way to my ultrasound, I noted that MaxiMe took it all in his stride, he was pretty easy going about the whole thing. Looking back, I don’t really think he knew what was going on; then again, neither did I. Our main concern was that I wouldn’t have to have any procedure to remove left over tissue from the miscarriage, as I didn’t want to take any more time off work. Within seconds of placing the scanner thing (sorry this isn’t a technical document), on my lower abdomen, the sonographer said, "look, there’s your baby."
I sighed, the way one does when suffering a fool, then calmly advised her that I wasn’t here because I was pregnant. She asked me what I thought the little white blipping thing on the screen was. I leaned forward to have a look a the screen and suggested that perhaps she had linked up to some sonar and it was an enemy sub. She confirmed that it was definitely the heartbeat of a baby; I nearly fell off the examining table.
In hindsight, that probably would have been a good time to call MaxiMe in, and introduce him to his first child who was apparently around 7 weeks and 2 days gestation. However, he was sitting so comfortably in the waiting room studying that I didn’t want to disturb him. I breezed out and he asked, 'is everything ok?' I said "yes, we’re pregnant," as casually as I could. He replied, "oh, what do we do now?" I suggested we get giant ice-cream sundaes for breakfast at Chatswood Chase and discuss it later. So we did, they were very cold and mega yummy, ice-cream is very relaxing and good for the soul. We didn't really talk about the baby situation, we thought we'd save that for when we got home.
MaxiMe seemed to find the whole thing very tiring, and fell asleep on he couch not long after we arrived at home. After doing some online research on pregnancy in general, especially the development of an embryo the age of ours I was kind of warming to the idea of growing a person. I then moved on to some sites that provided information about termination options... After spending an hour viewing some particularly graphic photos and video on that topic, I was already looking at Boori baby furniture when MaxiMe woke up.
MaxiMe has often said that we didn't discuss the whole thing; however he did say that he would support any decision I made, before he fell asleep... So why waste words?
©Luisa Foliaki – Proud Mumma of MicroMe & MissyMe
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